Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The BEST motivation to be good to yourself, EVER.


Is anyone else feeling some old frustrations coming up this month? I want to tell you a story...

I had a healthy and thought-provoking conversation recently with a woman, whom I'll call Emily. When we first sat down, she told me that her intention and ongoing project for this year is to step into the full expression of herself. (Whoa, awesome!) She told me about her desire to embody more of the divine feminine.

When I asked what that meant to her, she described to me a powerful woman, sitting up straighter in her chair and suddenly looking quite divine herself. "She just has this aura, this powerful presence. She knows who she is," she said, motioning in the air around her relaxed shoulders as if she was glowing. (Was she?)

I was intrigued and impressed. That sense and aura of power, of confidence and ease, of knowing what you want and need... yes, wanting that is very familiar to me. It's very familiar to all of my clients. To know and declare that is what you want is DEEP.

The core reason we were talking was because Emily was stuck around her diet. She is a health-conscious young woman, she loves food, but actually stocking her kitchen and making healthy, simple, easy meals happen... it wasn't. She knew she was cheating herself on this. Her sugar cravings are going wild, her skin is breaking out, and - maybe most significantly - she feels bad about it. It undermines her confidence and power. She told me with a sigh, "I know what to do, I have all the kitchen equipment, I'm just not doing it."

I asked her, "So how does this divine feminine, fully expressed woman you are stepping into this year, how does SHE want to feed herself? What does she do in her kitchen?"  Emily's eyes got wide. She hadn't connected those two pieces.

When I first committed to get truly healthy and take radical loving care of myself I didn't really know why it was so important to me either. I knew I needed to feel better and heal my gut. I wanted to have more energy. It only hit me recently that being healthy was the foundation for me to step out and follow my heart, to take risks in my business, and to get the most out of life. To find and know and express myself. That was the real reason I moved to San Francisco 4 1/2 years ago. And knowing what being healthy means to me is the BEST motivation EVER to be so good to myself in all my choices every day.

When we allow ourselves to know WHAT we want and WHY we want it, we can then see what we require to become that. And we give ourselves a powerful and meaningful anchor for the daily choices we make.

So who was this woman I have been imagining I want to become? I challenged myself one morning and this is what I wrote...

She walks tall and proud - not because she thinks she's all that - but because she knows herself and knows she's doing the best she can and that's good enough.
She knows that beauty comes from living in your truth, in choosing to allow yourself to be turned on by life, by sensations, by feelings, by being vulnerable and unafraid of mess.
She knows what she wants and she knows she has the power to make it real.
She's purposeful, intentional, thoughtful, awake and aware.
Her body is toned and strong, supple and flexible.
She knows what she brings to the table and how much it means to other people.
She knows what she's worth.
She's financially free, abundant and organized.
She's an unabashedly sensual and sexual being.
She's deep and watchful, expressive and artsy.
She's open and learning and constantly readjusting and she doesn't take anything too seriously.
She laughs easily, cries easily and feels opened and relieved after both.
She savors her food, eats mindfully and slowly, and only when she's hungry... or wants a taste.
She takes care of herself and doesn't worry about making other people feel uncomfortable.
She takes her time.
he listens to her body and her intuition.
She knows and loves her friends and makes quality time with them regularly.
She celebrates life.
She feels at peace in the world, in the universe, with her place in the cosmic unfolding.
She loves and supports her family roots and they love and support her back.
She is grounded and centered, she dances.
She loves fresh flowers and vegetables, nature and trees and lakes.
Her art is a celebration of life.
Her movements are a reflection of what she wants to create in the world.
She believes all things are one, all things are whole, all things are connected.
She calls herself a fascinating creature.
She calls herself Alex.
She calls herself beauty.
She calls herself deep.
She calls herself love.

We all MUST start with getting clear about what we want. Is there something that's been dragging on you in your lifestyle or health? Something you feel like you should have figured out by now, that you can do, you just haven't put in the effort yet? When you're feeling like "I should be able to do this myself!" that's a tell-tale sign to get someone on your side so you WILL make it happen, my friend.

It's easy to miss the parts that are holding us back and keeping us looping back into old patterns until someone else holds up the mirror. Change can happen just by seeing something new.
I'm offering a few different Spring coaching specials (ridiculously awesome deals) right now. If you're feeling frustrated or stuck in a rut (or on a roller coaster), I invite you to PLEASE put yourself into my calendar for A Healthy Conversation. It's a free coaching session, it's a consultation, it will put you back in the driver's seat. Let's get you to clarity together.

2 comments:

  1. Dear Alex,

    How are you? I am Wan Chi from Hong Kong. I am 19 years old. I feel very thankful to see that there is someone in the other side of the world feels the same as me. I am in a typical sad night in my summer holiday and I typed "how to enjoy holidays" on YouTube. That is how I found your videos. I cannot help watching your videos because I found myself in the words you say and thoughts you shared you have had as a highly sensible person. All that rings a bell in me. I am currently very frustrated in my life, it starts to affect my health as you mention in this blog.

    I really desire to know what I want. I just don't feel happy even when I know I have received a lot of blessings - this is what makes me even more sad and guilty because I am a bad girl not be satisfied with all good things while many others in the world are not having an easy life. I know something is wrong with me and I'm not in good condition (for a long time). I feel day by day passing and going to waste because no matter what I do, working busily or "enjoying" holiday I am not here with myself and I cannot fully enjoy any moment of my life. I just feel the frustration day by day but I don't know where the problem is. It would be a great honour to have the chance to talk with you. I know we are far away so I cannot enjoy sitting down with you face to face, but I do hope we can chat with voice or even camera if you don't mind. I really really really want to know what is happening inside myself and don't want my life go to waste anymore. You said in your video and blog that a companion is very important to support and make our goals come true. But I don't have any friend to share my problem with because I am too "weird" as you described yourself in your self introduction. I don't know why I'm that weird either. I am too sensitive and pushing myself too hard to perfection that doesn't yet bring me help but depressions and lost hope in life. Recent years I found myself facing myself much more often than before, I have difficulty comprehending myself and solving all grow up problems. I hope we can talk and share our thoughts and experience. I also hope to seek help from you. I am steeping in my twenties in my life this August, I don't want myself carry this screwed up self image into my twenties, thirties, or even my whole life. I don't want to live like this anymore, not a day of disappointment more.

    Thanks a lot with my heart for your patience and time. I hope you have a good day.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Wan Chi!

      It sounds like you have a seeking soul like mine, looking for answers :) Thank you for writing - I am so touched that you found your way here to me on the other side of the world. It is remarkable, the days we live in and all the things that are possible.

      I feel so much for you, I have been there too. Sometimes I still am there, feeling like I have been given so much in this life, yet there is something inside of me still unsettled or unsatisfied... I ask myself, "who am I to be unhappy?" I invite you to remember that these are just thoughts, and they are normal. Nothing is wrong with you! You are a human being, a beautifully imperfect, complex, layered young woman living in an also very complex, messy time. When is not a messy time? Probably never.

      I used to feel so frustrated by the way things seemed to be - work hard to make money to be happy... but that never felt like happiness to me. I realized it was an inside job, something I had to find and create and feed inside of myself. When we are not feeling satisfied with life is when we (or at least I did) turn to food to try to fill up what is missing or unpleasant. Of course, that doesn't serve us very well or actually make us feel better - it makes us feel worse! Do you relate?

      I would LOVE to talk with you more, over video would be amazing. Email me at alexmarthealth -at- gmail.com and we can set up a time to connect. I imagine we have much to learn from each other!

      Thank you from my heart for being brave enough to reach out and write this letter. I look forward to meeting you!

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